Story Of My Life
by lisakingsford
Summary: Steve Rogers is dating Katherine Caldwell. It's just not the same as when they first met. Between being Captain America and saving the world, he doesn't love her anymore. His heart aches for Lisa Kingsford. Steve RogersxOC oneshot OOC Steve Rogers


Steve frowned as he walked out of his back bedroom. At first he thought he was happy to date Katherine. She was just like Peggy was. He felt like he was using her to replace his first love. He tried explaining this to me but I said it was pre-date jitters and I came over to help him get ready for the date. He wore a tight red shirt that showed off his upper body, and tight black pants. He also wore a sliver chain with his dog tags on it and black combat boots. For his date he was likely to need the boots in order to fight off Katherine or so Tony said he would need them.

He nervously twisted the dog tags that he had added on at the last second. He really didn't want to go deal with Katherine. He just wanted to stay at home and maybe spend some time with you. You had been working hard lately in your office, falling asleep at your computer more often than not. As one of Pepper's assistants, you were also under Tony's rule so the man worked you more than he should have. Luckily you lived in the Avengers Tower, temporarily though because you had been in between jobs and lost your home due to a spat with a terrible ex. He actually carried you into your room every night, making you believe you had actually stumbled your way to bed every night.

Though never once did he ever change your clothes. He never snuck a peek like Clint suggested the first night he carried you to bed. It would have been rude to you and just plain disgusting for his self image. He sighed. Steve's journey was not without its hardships, that fact alone was constant and immutable. Yet there was no way he could have foreseen this new challenge. He was painfully aware that his heart was at cross-purposes. His dilemmas had been seemingly much simpler before he was thawed out. He didn't even know why he had been given this second chance in the modern era, not that he was complaining. He didn't even register that you had walked into the room. You smiled as Steve frowned at himself in the mirror.

"Stop that," you scolded, "You look great."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Unwilling to resist the opportune moment to tease you, a diminutive smirk crossed his lips. You picked up the shirt you had been recovering. His room was a mess because he didn't want Katherine to get the wrong idea from what he wore. If he was too revealing it was too inviting for you. If he was too concealed it might actually seem romantic. Modern times were just so confusing for the soldier. And he had told you this. You had just laughed it off, picked his clothes and shoved him into the bathroom so you didn't have to watch him change in front of you. You smiled at Steve and chucked the shirt at his head. It landed right in his face.

Steve stood there for a moment, with the shirt clinging to his hair. Slowly he pulled it off and glared at you coldly. You were not seeing anyone but that did not mean you were not pursued. That person was her 'friend' Rémy Etienne LeBeau, of course. Because really no one else came to mind except for that mutant who had befriended you, who practically hit on every one he saw or so you told Steve. Everyone had both seen and heard of his attempts (and failures) at getting you to go out on a date with him. But even though you had been persistent in shoving Rémy away and telling him to buzz off, Steve was sure of that he had seen a small smile and a blush on your face because of the compliments.

_"Ah, mon cher, do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you."_

"_, you are such a thief. You have stolen my heart with your beauty, mon amour."

"I need a map, _. It seems that I'm lost in your eyes..."

There were more examples, of course, but it seemed that you had always appreciated the words.

Steve sat at the table, moodily waiting for Katherine to show up. He really wanted to put his best foot forward for the young woman. He couldn't help but wonder if he was doing the wrong thing. He couldn't see himself with Katherine, or even Shannon Carter who had asked him to go out with her. Yet he knew he should be where his heart was, instead of longing to be with the woman who was coming to meet him. His stomach felt like live worms. He thought he was going to be sick. The waiter had already been by to ask what he wanted. Although he wanted to get it over with he kept telling the poor man that he was waiting for someone so he ordered a simple coke.

Besides, he knew he much rather be at home with you and doing whatever you had planned that evening. He was sure you had mentioned something about having some friends over. He would have liked relaxing with some familiar friends, or new ones if that were the case. As he sat there he had taken to bouncing his knees under the table. He might have just have asked for wine but you wouldn't have been too happy if he smelled of alcohol, even if he couldn't get drunk or if the alcohol of the era was strong enough to even do so. He didn't even know what he would do as a drunk. He wasn't exactly in any hurry to find out either.

Katherine was late.

The waiters were empathetic towards him and had even gone to the extent of bringing him a basket of rolls to eat while he waited. Looking to the world like someone who had been stood up as he moodily stirred his soda with his straw. After staring at nothing in particular for a good while, Steve focused all of his attention on his drink. He looked down at it, eyes darting to the containers of salt and whatever the hell else off to the side.

He could always order Katherine a drink and add a little something extra. Then he shook his head. That sounded like something Tony or Clint would do. He wasn't going to do something like that. He took a sip of his drink. Then he put his finger over the top of the straw. Quickly Steve pulled it out, watching the fluid stay in the straw, then lifted his finger and watched it all fall out. Steve did this a few times, dying of boredom in waiting for a woman he didn't particularly care for in the first place. He could only imagine what you would have said to him if you saw him playing with his drink out of sheer boredom, probably something along the lines of how un-soldier-like he appeared to be.

"Steve!"

Steve choked on his bread as he was hugged from behind. Tactfully, he pulled Katherine's arms off of his throat. He didn't have to look to know that Katherine had arrived. She was wearing a constricting red dress, tight and squeezing her curves. She wore far too much make up. Her perfume made his stomach churn. She also smelled distinctly of hairspray. Steve wrinkled his nose in distaste. It reminded him of Peggy once more and his heart sank. The boldness of women in this time still came as a shock to him after the sheltered life he had led in the 40s. There, most who spoke to him usually did so with distaste in their eyes and disbelief in their voices until he became a soldier. None of them had ever eyed him as if he were a piece of meat they were contemplating having for lunch. An uncomfortable feeling of foreboding prodded him in the gut. Either that or it was Katherine's elbow digging in as she tried to stand closer and closer yet to him.

"Oh, you waited for me!" she squealed in delight, "You are so sweet!"

She was making a scene. People were now staring at them. He wanted to groan. If he hadn't told Tony about what was going to happen it would have been all over the news. The billionaire quickly acted and made sure to pay off the patrons to not talk about what they saw. It was merely an allowance to Tony. He could throw the money around and still have plenty. Calmly, Steve got to his feet and stepped around the table. He pulled out the chair adjacent to the one he had been sitting in just moments before. You had drilled it into his head, that even though he didn't particularly care for someone, he was to act distant, yet polite.

Granted, you never said he had to be that way for Katherine but he was trying to at least appear to be kind to you. He was also informed by Tony and Clint that though pulling a chair out was the right thing to do no one did it anymore. Chivalry was a dying trait, sadly enough. Bruce had luckily caught him and told him that while 1940s sensibilities were no longer used, women appreciated them. It seemed that at least someone was on his side for this. Natasha merely nodded her head in acknowledgement. To his luck, Thor was distracted before he could give a speech about courtship from Asgard.

She squealed again. The waiter who had provided him with both his rolls and his soda now looked extremely sympathetic. Steve nearly groaned as she hugged his arm tightly. Her chest was pressed flush against his arm. She was practically smothering herself against him. He was tempted to push her away from him but he still had to through the rest of the night. It would be rude to leave her before it had even started or to not give her a chance to redeem herself, or so he felt. Tony had teased him saying that with any luck that some evil villain would try to take over the world again, if the date was bad. Steve had scolded him, saying that he shouldn't wish something like that.

"Can I get you two anything?" the waiter asked.

Steve glanced at Katherine, signaling that she could go first because it was only polite to let the lady go first; at least it was during his time period. He hoped the rule still remained the same. So many dating rules had changed and he really wasn't sure what to think of it all. Perhaps he was better off as a hermit, staying in his own shell instead of trying to get back into the dating world. She stared at the waiter for a moment.

"Lobster, and grilled vegetables and a Coke."

"Chicken Parmesan," Steve said.

He already had a drink. He wasn't too particularly hungry after the rolls he ate as he waited for Katherine. Regardless, he had to eat. It would be rude if he didn't. Plus, you had told him the chicken parmesan was delicious. He trusted your judgment but wanted to try this 'Italian' food out for himself. The waiter nodded and walked away. Steve pushed the basket of bread towards Katherine, less he be tempted to swipe yet another roll. He had lost count after three. She took one, grabbed her butter knife and then applied some butter to it. She was avoiding eye contact still. He shifted uncomfortably.

He was new to the concept of dating, seeing as he didn't exactly go out every Friday night as a soldier. Dating wasn't exactly commonplace on the war front. He looked up to see Katherine, toying with a napkin in her hands. She had taken small bites out of her roll. It sat innocently on a small plate next to her silverware. _'Talk to her!'_ a voice in his head ordered. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, uncertain as to when he closed them in the first place. There was an interesting pattern above his head. Whoever had designed this place really did well. But the chandeliers and soft lighting were making him sleepy.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asked.

"I-I'm fine," Katherine said, "And how are you?"

Steve couldn't help but smile at her. They were getting somewhere now, or so he hoped. He could tell that although she had felt taciturn his introduction to their conversation had been all the coaxing she needed to start talking. He cursed Tony for setting the two of them up for the date. He was no good with people. He was perfectly happy without a romantic relationship. Though he believed Tony's interference had something to do with Pepper's worrying over him.

"A little tired," Steve admitted, "_ fell ill last week and I've been helping Tony out instead."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Katherine said.

Steve, with a sagacious ear, noted that she didn't truly sound sorry at all to hear it. He supposed that he shouldn't have been talking about another person while he was on a date with her but he needed some sort of conversation starter. Words about you just sort of slipped out. He lived with you in the tower, as well as the others. However, you were the one who was the most sympathetic to his technological handicap and often took to teaching him yourself. He only found it natural that he spoke fondly of you. You, in a way, adopted him like a lost puppy and took to taking care of him on top of doing your work for Pepper and Tony.

Dinner had been served, eaten with vigor on both parts. Steve found that one again you knew what you were talking about when she spoke of the different foods he had come across. The conversation had flowed and it had its moments of awkward silence where neither knew what to say. It felt like the double dates Bucky had taken him out on, except this time the dame was interested in him but he wasn't interested in her. Steve had waved over the waiter, giving the man the required amount of money, according to the bill with enough to get money back for a tip, just as you had instructed. Due to inflation it was quite a bit more than he was used but he paid it. People had to make a living. Katherine hardly looked ebullient to start parting ways.

"You really like _, don't you?" Katherine asked.

There was a hint of bitter defeat in her voice that surprised Steve. He stared at her for a moment. Before he could answer the waiter came back with his change. He took the money back with his change. He gave the man a handsome tip. Katherine didn't move. Steve got to his feet and walked around the table. He slid the chair back for her, allowing her to get up. Slowly she did but there was some lingering sadness around her. He took her hand and it was then moved to the crook of his elbow. As the two of them walked out of the restaurant, Steve nodded his thanks to the staff. They stepped outside. Steve smiled at Katherine. Suddenly, she stepped back. Steve's smile faded.

"Katherine?"

"You love _, don't you?" she asked.

Steve stiffened. He stared at her for a moment. No one knew just how important you were to him. He relished in the time they spent together but to you it was an outing between friends. He would never have been anything more to you. You were one of his closest friends. You had taken then chance to get to know Steve himself, not the godly 'living legend' everyone tried to portray in their retellings. Besides, you were still getting over your ex. You didn't need someone else to try and force you to forget about how much that relationship hurt you if you didn't want to forget. But as your friend he didn't want to lose your friendship. You were far too precious to him to lose, as selfish as it was of a thought.

"You should have told me," Katherine said.

"I'm sorry," Steve said.

He did feel ashamed of himself. He had led her on. She looked hurt, truly pained. He never wanted to hurt her. It was the furthest thing from his intentions. Steve didn't realize that he had 'led her on' as Tony would have put it. He was just trying to get out in the world. How he longed to go back to the day where he saw his shield moving and the two of you found out it was Pepper's nephew. You had played for so long that day, having more fun than he could remember. Now, he felt like slime.

"I should have known better," Katherine said, "A guy like you is too good to be true…"

"It wasn't you," Steve said, "I just don't like you the way you like me to."

Katherine looked close to tears. She looked heartbroken. It distinctly reminded Steve of the girl from Jane Foster's intern Darcy. She had complained over the phone when he called to tell her that he wasn't interested. Tony promptly took the phone from him and passed it over to a surprised Bruce. He nearly smiled as he recalled how Bruce and the girl were dating. Bruce had thanked him for introducing them, even though it was indirectly and more to Tony's involvement than anything else.

"You'll find someone," Steve assured Katherine, "You will just have to look a little harder."

Katherine nodded slowly. She shivered in the night air. He was about to slip his jacket off when the doors to the restaurant opened behind them. They turned to see the waiter who had served them. In his hand he held a pink earring similar to the one Katherine had in her left ear. Gently she touched her right ear. Her earring was gone. The waiter stopped in front of Katherine. The man only seemed to have eyes for Katherine. He blushed for a moment before holding out the earring to her. He was smiling shyly. Steve noticed the look on his face. It had been a look on his face once before.

"I think this is yours, ma'am…" the waiter said politely.

Steve smiled. His eyes caught the flash of gold on the man's uniform. His name tag read: Drew. The soldier turned his back to the duo, raising a hand into the air and hailing a taxi. Gratefully Katherine took the earring from the man. The young man lingered, his mouth working furiously as he tried to say something to her. Steve had been in that position before. He wanted to give advice but it seemed in poor taste to pawn his date off on the waiter when he didn't have a good date with her and then leave.

"Thank you," Katherine said gratefully.

The waiter nodded. He looked awful pleased with himself. Steve opened the taxi cab door. He paused and looked at Katherine. She took the waiter's hand and started talking with him, gently, and not overly pressed. She looked happy and so did the waiter. Had he perhaps indirectly set the two up? Oh irony. He could help others with relationships but he couldn't even figure out his own. However, Steve believed she may have changed. He was happy for her.

"Hey buddy, you getting in or what?" the cabby demanded.

Steve slid into the car with a small smile on his face. Katherine was a strong woman. She could defend herself if the need arose. Plus, he had a good feeling that Drew the waiter would watch over her. Katherine was safe. He was figuring things out for himself. In fact, the waiter led her over to the employee parking lot. There were other people on the streets so if he tried anything someone would rescue her.

Life was good.

"Where to pal?" the cabby asked.

Steve gave the address to the Avenger's tower. The first thought that flashed through his mind was home.


End file.
